Okay, so people laugh at me when I call myself a middle-aged woman (is the nice way to say that really "cougar"?) or say that I'm having a mid-life crisis. Look, I don't feel old or even necessarily look it most days but a little simple math has led me to the conclusion that I am most likely middle aged. Here's how that works inside my mathematical super-computer of a brain:
My Mom lived to be 55.
Her Mom lived to be 95.
55+95= 150. Divide that by 2 for an average of 75.
Divide 75 by 2 again and you get 37.5 years, or what could be called the exact middle of my life, which is right about now.
Anyway, that seems like pretty basic reasoning to me. It also felt, when I first worked through the problem, like a big push to get moving in my life and do something that really mattered to me and made my life feel a bit more meaningful than simply chasing money, success and security.
I like all those things, don't get me wrong- at the big buffet table that is this life I will taking heaping helpings of all three and go back for seconds if there's any leftovers. However, I could sit and gnaw on these things all day and night and still always feel hungry. Paradoxically enough, it reached a point last year where I felt much more like money, success and security were eating me - alive.
So what exactly is a mid-life crisis? Most of us all know a story about somebody's Dad who ditched the family, got an earring and a Camaro and a 25 year-old girlfriend and generally became an object of ridicule in town, etc. (while probably also being secretly admired by some of the other mid-lifers for his free spirit, awesome ride , hot girlfriend or new Rod Stewart hairdo). Anyway, most people, myself included, view the idea of a mid-life crisis as something that sits somewhere between mildly embarrassing and downright disgraceful. We form these impressions without ever attaching a firm definition to the whole concept.
Here's what the Internet Oracle threw at me about mid-life crisis symptoms today.
http://www.personaltao.com/tao/midlifecrisis-signs.htm
You can go there yourself and read the whole thing - I'm going to copy and paste the symptoms here and answer them right in front of you. Then we can all decide if I'm allowed to say I'm having a mid-life crisis, m'kay?
The following is a list of symptoms mixed about to illustrate how defining a mid life crisis is relative to the person experiencing the changes.
1. Looking into the mirror and you no longer recognize yourself. * I look a bit tired, but otherwise the same old me...
2. Desiring to quit a good job. * Oh yeah.
3. Unexplained bouts of depression when doing tasks that used to make you happy.*Yep.
4. Changing or investigating new religions, churches or new age philosophy. *I read both Eckhart Tolle's books - does that count?
5. Change of habits. Activities which used to bring pleasure now are boring. Unable to complete or concentrate on tasks which used to be easy. *Yep.
6. It feels good to get hurt. *Not physically, no.
7. A desire to get into physical shape. *Absolutely.
8. Irritability or unexpected anger. *Cranky, bitchy and sometimes just mean.
9. Change in allergies. *Worse this year, yes.
10. Desire for physical -Free Flowing- movement (Running, Biking, Dance, Fast red sports cars, Sky diving, etc). *I suppose galloping on horseback counts, right?
11. Exploring new musical tastes. *I listen to new country now. And I like it.
12. Sudden desire to learn how to play an instrument. *Nope.
13. Sudden interest in drawing, painting, writing books or poetry. *I'm still working on my first oil pastel masterpiece that I started this winter...
14. Shifting sleep patterns (Typically to less). *Definitely.
15. Thinking about death, wondering about the nature of death. *Not much more than usual.
16. Changes to the balance of vitamins you take. Or taking dietary supplements for the purposes of extending life. *Nope.
17. Extreme changes to what you eat. *Does being recognized at every drive-thru window near where I work count? I guess it probably does.
18. Excessively buying new clothes and taking more time to look good. * Hahahahaha
19. Hair changes. (Natural changes in thickness, luster, color or Assisted changes in dying hair suddenly or shaving your head bald) *Nope.
20. A desire to surround yourself with different settings. *Very much so.
21. Hanging out with a different generation as their energy and ideas stimulate you. *I like old people a lot more than I used to but I totally don't get most people under 30.
22. Restarting things, which you dropped 20 years earlier. *Oh yes.
23. Upset at where society is going. Experience a desire to change the world for the better. *I bet I could survive off the grid if I had to. Yep.
24. Feeling trapped or tied down by fiscal responsibilities. *Ugh, yes.
25. Leaving (Mentally or Physically) family or feeling trapped in current family relationships. *Heck yes.
26. A desire to teach others or become a healer. *100%.
27. Desiring a simple life. 110%.
28. Excessively looking back to one's childhood. *Not really, no.
29. Playing again just to play! * Is "playing" what happens when work is fun?
30. Keep re-asking yourself: "Where am I going with my life?" *#1 with a bullet.
31. Getting fixated on new "wonder" solutions to problems. *Probably not.
32. Recently experiencing something extremely stressful. Stress can trigger a Midlife transformation. Some examples include: Changing Jobs, Divorce, Death of someone close, Chemical/Toxic exposure upon the body or experiencing a major illness.
*Hmmm, stress is so close to me I can't identify it. Funny that.
33. Doing things that get you into trouble when it surprises everyone as being out of character. *I'd say no.
34. Someone unexpectedly exclaims: "You are going through a midlife crisis!" *So far I'm the only one who's said that but I wasn't expecting to come to that conclusion.
"A Midlife crisis is often the attempt to restart life to better fit a person's heart. Due to existing personal commitments, it often isn't easy to self resolve the inner conflict a person feels. As a result many times a person in mid life crisis will act confused or lost while trying to sort out the contradictions they feel in their life".
So, I'm going to conservatively estimate my affirmative responses at 22 out of 34, or roughly 2/3rd's mid-life crisis affirmative. I still don;t know exactly what a mid-life crisis is, but it looks like I might be having one so I'm just going to go with that, m'kay?
No comments:
Post a Comment